The Bridge Over Troubled Waters Saved Me From Drowning

Every woman I've spoken to in the Days After What Was tells me that four years without oral sex is ... "reason enough". A peculiar fear spreads across their face, reflected in their eyes as the truth sinks in. Four years. No oral sex. Could this happen to them too? As each white picket of the white picket fence is hammered deeper into the ground, as accumulated debts pile higher and higher, as shiny bright things replace the pleasures of the flesh that were indulged once upon a time when passion mattered. Oh yes, when passion mattered, or indeed, when passion existed.

I knew a man once who loved to pleasure me in that way. He couldn't actually articulate the specifics of the action, it became "That", as in "I like doing That to you." I still had my reservations about oral sex - as in oral sex being performed on me. The clitoris is a delicate thing, tricky to navigate despite it's small size. I mean so much can go wrong can't it? Mine, for example requires a light touch, so I always look at a man's hands, just a quick glance mind you, to assess the potential compatibility of his fingers with my clitoris. Perhaps men look at a woman's mouth with a similar objective: how would it feel to have those lips on my penis? I don't have "fellatio" lips, so it's all in the sucking and licking. These are learned skills; one has to compensate. Anyhow, this man who liked to do That. He was so good at it I changed the way I pleasured myself. This was the Turning Point in oral sex for me. I'd been so indifferent, and even a little embarrassed and uncomfortable with having a man go There to do That up to that point. Made me want to crawl the fucking walls, the things he did to my clitoris. Had to stuff a sheet in my mouth to stop myself screaming and waking up his housemate. It's a bit like discovering you have the capacity to burn DVDs on your laptop after owning it for four months. As in, suddenly a wealth of possibility opens up.

There's nothing quite like coming in a man's mouth.

Mary. Mother. Of God.

When the orgasm is that intense it makes you want to weep, when the pleasure is unbearable, when in the moment of climax you are entirely, utterly shattered, exposed and vulnerable. Oh yes, completely changed my views on both oral sex, and masturbation techniques.

So, four years passed.

Without.

Until recently, when I was reminded of the wealth of possibilities.

Boom bada bada Boom.

FIONA